Uh, have you had sex with Lucy? She’s anything but innocent in bed. I know that well enough.

Uh, after the whole hospital situation, I went back to school. Apparently this popular chick named Phoebe found me hot, she heard I was still a virgin, and offered to have sex with me. Not really the smartest girl, but she seemed nice enough and she had good assets and she took me to her house and she did things with her mouth and we had sex and we ‘dated’. Well dated was more liked fucked like rabbits whenever our parents weren’t home, and then I broke it off when I went to college. Can’t say I really regret it because I saw it as practice. She taught me well.

Wow. That’s cute.

I think I’ll pass.

(Source: cdoor)

Well, I lost my virginity when I was 17, so naturally, yes. But Lucy’s the best I’ve ever had, and it’s gonna be a little hard for anyone else to top her.

When I was old enough to know that a woman’s body was very visually pleasing, so 14.

I think stealing from my parents qualifies as ‘crazy’. I’m sure there are more on the list.